2.2 Identifying your values
My concerns about using CSAM
This exercise focuses on your thoughts and concerns about your use of CSAM, and your hopes and goals for what you want to achieve through the ReDirection self-help program.
Reflect on the following questions and write down your answers:
- How concerned are you about your use of CSAM? Score 0–100 (0 = not at all, 100 = very concerned).
- What concerns you most, for example, your thoughts, behaviors, consequences of searching and using CSAM? What would be the worst thing that could happen if you continue using CSAM and why?
- Have you considered making a change? Why are you considering trying to change today?
- Why is now the right time for a change?
- How did answering these questions make you feel?
- Were you surprised by any of your answers?
Take a moment to reflect on this exercise before you move on to the next one.
My life at the moment
In this exercise, consider how satisfied you are with your current life situation. Looking at what you would like to change will help you to create meaningful goals for the future.
Reflect on the following questions and write down your answers:
- What is your life situation like at the moment?
- How satisfied are you with your current situation? Score 0–100 (0 = very unsatisfied, 100 = very satisfied).
- How much does using CSAM affect your satisfaction with life and your happiness? Score 0–100 (0= not at all, 100= very much)
- What would increase your satisfaction with your current life situation?
- What are you missing in your life at the moment? How realistic is it for you to achieve the things you miss? What would it take to achieve these things? How is using CSAM getting you closer to the things you miss in your life?
- What dreams and hopes do you have for your future? How would it be possible for you to reach your dreams and hopes? What is stopping you from achieving your dreams?
- How would your life change if you stopped viewing CSAM?
- How motivated are you to work on the tasks in this ReDirection program? (0= not at all, 100= very much)
Look back over your answers and try to identify some key points that make you feel motivated to continue your rehabilitative journey.
Values as a guide
This exercise will help you to identify your core values, which guide how we want to live our lives. Think about how satisfied you are with your current situation and what kind of a life you would like to lead.
Read the two scenarios and finish the sentences:
Scenario 1
You wake up in the morning. It is your birthday – you are turning 80 years old today. You never made any changes to the way you are currently living your life. You start to think about the past and you look back on your life. Finish the following sentences:
- “I spent too much time worrying about…”
- “I spent too little time…”
- “If I could go back in time, I would…”
Try to think about what could help you to live your life in a way that you will be happy with your choices when you look back over your life.
Scenario 2
Imagine again that it is your 80th birthday. You are having a party. Everyone you care about is at the party. What do you want them to remember about you? You have lived a happy life that you are satisfied with. What has your life been like? Your family and friends are giving speeches at your party. Finish the sentences:
- Your friend is describing you: “You have been a friend, who…”
- Your partner or close family member talks about you: “You have been a partner/family member who…”
- Your child talks about the way you have acted as a parent: “You have been a parent who…”
- You are remembering your life: “I am especially happy about my life because…”
Your values
In scenario 2 you are describing your values.
There can be a significant difference between your values and your current situation. Once you have identified your core values, you can begin to make important decisions to bring your current situation in line with your values. Upholding your values will make your life more satisfying and meaningful.
Goals
Values are different from goals. Goals are concrete objectives that you can achieve, whereas values continuously affect how you act and behave. For example, you may have the goal of “being in a satisfying relationship”, but you can continuously uphold your value of “behaving respectfully and kindly towards other people”. Upholding your values will help you to achieve your goals.
Values
Our values tell us how we want to live our lives and how we want to treat ourselves, others and the world. A value might be, for example, “I want to be kind and present with other people” or “I want to take good care of myself.” With every decision we make, and every interaction we have with others, we have the choice whether or not to uphold our values.
Below you can find a list of values and a description of how that value may present itself in your behavior. You can use the list as inspiration to help you identify your own values.
List of values
Take a moment to identify the core values that you want to live by and look at how your use of CSAM relates to your values. Write down the values most important to you. Reflect on the questions and write down your answers.
What are the most important things in your life?
- How does your use of CSAM affect these things?
- Looking back on your life, what events or situations have had the biggest impact on your life and the person you are now?
How do you want your life to be in the future?
- How can you achieve this?
- How does your use of CSAM affect your future?
What do you value?
- How are your values visible in your actions?
- Is watching CSAM in line with your values?
